Category Archives: thai culture

Public Service Announcement

Only in Thailand do people have to be told not to drive on the sidewalks.  I came across this video the other day and thought it was pretty funny.  First, the characters:

  • Douchebag – The guy driving on the sidewalk.  You know he’s a douche bag by the shirt he is wearing.
  • Grandma – Almost gets run over by Douchebag.  Lays down the law.
  • Pinkguy – Adds color.  Possibly diabetic and gay.
  • Pologuy – Calm and reasonable.

The translation:

เสียงแตร
Honking

Douchebag: โอ๊ย !! เร็วๆ ดิยาย – Ouch.  Quickly!  Quickly!  Grandma!
Douchebag: เก็บเร็วๆ ดิวะ ! – Hurry up! Pick up (your things) !
Douchebag: โถ่เว้ย ช้าเว้ย – Oh!  Slow!
Douchebag: หลบดิ๊ !! – Move!!

เสียงแตร – Honking

Pinkguy: จะบีบแตรทำไมคะ !? – Why are you honking !?
Douchebag: ก็หลบไปดิ !! – Step aside!!
Pologuy: นี้มันฟุตบาทนะครับคุณ – This is a sidewalk
Douchebag: แล้วไงอะ ? หรือจะให้กูชนไหม !?! – So what? Or you will crash into me!?!
Pinkguy: แล้วทำไมกูต้องหลบด้วย – So why do I need to get out of your way?
Douchebag: ก็กูรีบอะ – I’m in a hurry!
Pinkguy: ก็กูไม่รีบอะ – I’m not in a hurry!
Pinkguy: พี่รีบเหรอคะ You’re in a hurry?
Pologuy: ไม่เลย พี่ไม่รีบเลย – Not at all.  I’m not in a hurry at all

เสียงแตร – Honking

Douchebag: กูรีบ ! มึงเข้าใจไหมกูรีบ!? – I’m in a hurry! Do you understand I’m in a hurry!
Pinkguy: ไม่ !!! No!!!
Douchebag: แล้วมึงจะเอายังไงกับกู ห้ะ !?! อีเบาหวาน! – So what do you want with me !?!  You diabetic!
Pologuy: พวกผมไม่เอายังไงกับคุณหรอกครับ – We don’t want anything with you at all.
Douchebag: มึงก็หลบไปสิ ! มึงขวางทางรถกูอยู่ มึงเข้าใจหรือเปล่าวะ – Then step aside!  You are blocking my road. Do you understand or not?
Pinkguy: ไหนทางรถ !? ก็เห็นแต่ทางคนเดินเนี่ย – Where is the road !?  I see only the sidewalk.
Douchebag: หลบไป! หลบไป! – Step aside ! Step aside!
Pink guy: ไม่ !!! – No!!!
Douchebag: หลบไป !! Step aside!!
Douchebag: หลบไปดิ !! Step aside!!
Grandma: ใจเย็นๆ ลูก Calm down children.
Grandma: นะ ใจเย็นๆ ลูกอย่ามีเรื่องกันเลย – Calm down.  You don’t have any concern with each other.
Grandma: ใจเย็นๆ – Calm down
Pologuy: คุณยายเป็นอะไรไหมครับ – Grandma, are you ok?
Pologuy: ของในถุงไม่เป็นไรนะ? – Your things in the bag are ok?
Grandma: อ๋อไม่เป็นไร ยังอยู่ดีลูก – Oh, don’t worry child.  They are still good.
Grandma: เดินต่อกันเถอะ – Lets move along

เสียงแตร – Honking

Pinkguy: มึงจะบีบทำไมอีก !? – Why are you honking again?
Douchebag: มึงจะคุยกันอีกนานไหมเนี่ย !?! – Are you gonna talk a long time !?!
Douchebag: กูรีบ – I’m in a hurry.
Pinkguy: นานแค่ไหนก็เรื่องของกูไหม !?! – How long i talk is my concern !?!
Pinkguy: กูจะอาบน้ำ แต่งหน้า หล่อเทียนพรรษา มันก็เรื่องของกู – I will shower, put on makeup, making candles.  It is my concern.
Douchebag: มึงหลีกทางให้กูก่อนได้ไหมล่ะ ? – So can you move out of the way for me?
Douchebag: แล้วจะทำกับข้าว จะต้ังเตาบาร์บีคิว ทำอะไรก็เรื่องของมึงเลย! – Then i will cook food, setup the bbq.  Do whatever you need to do!
Pologuy: คุณขี่รถมอเดอร์ไซค์บนนี้ มันผิดกฎจราจร คุณไม่เหรอครับ ? – You are driving a motorcycle on this. It is against the traffic rules. Don’t you know this?
Douchebag: ก็ขี่แบบนี้มาเป็นปีแล้วอะ – I have driven like this for one year already.
Grandma: หนุ่มๆ – Boy.
Grandma: อย่ามีเรื่องกันเลยนะ – Don’t make an issue out of this.
Grandma: นะ อย่ามีเรื่องกันเลยนะ – Don’t make it an issue.
Douchebag: อะไรวะ ? ก็บ้านกูอยู่ทางนู้นอะ – What the fuck?  My house is that way over there.
Douchebag: แล้วกูจะไปทางนี้อะ – So i will go this way.
Douchebag: มึงจะให้กูวนรถอ้อมเสียเวลาเหรออะ !? – You will have me drive all around and waste time !?
Pinkguy: มึงก็ต้องทำไหม !? – You must do that !?
Pinkguy: หรือมึงจะตาย !? Or you will die!?
Pinkguy: กูอยากให้มึงตายตรงเนี้ย ! – I want to let you die right here!
Douchebag: รอมึงมีรถก่อนไง ค่อยทำแล้วกัน – Wait until you have a car.  Then you will do whatever you like.
Pologuy: นี่มันทางเท้าสำหรับคนเดินนะครับ – This is a sidewalk for people to walk on
Pologuy: แล้วถ้าวันนี้คุณไปชนคุณยายเขาเข้าเนี่ย – So if today you go crash into Grandma
Pologuy: คุณจะทำอย่างไง? – What are you going to do?
Douchebag: แล้ววันนี้ยายมึงเป็นอะไรไหม !? – So today is there anything wrong with your Grandma!?
Grandma: เออ..ยายไม่เป็นไรหรอก – No..Nothing wrong with me at all.
Grandma: แต่หนุ่มฟังยายนะ But you listen to me.
Grandma: ขี่รถบนทางเท้าเนี่ยมันผิด – Driving a vehicle on the sidewalk is wrong
Douchebag: อะไรเนี่ย !? นี่กูเสียเวลากับพวกมึงมากเลยนะเนี่ย – What!? This wastes my time so much.
Grandma: ฟังยายแป๊บนึง – Listen to me for a moment
Douchebag: อูยย เสียเวลาคุยเว้ย กูรีบ – Oh! Waste so much time chatting. I’m in a hurry!
Douchebag: มึงหลบทางไปเลย – You are blocking the path. Get out of the way
Pinkguy: ไม่หลบเว้ย! – I’m not moving!
Douchebag: มึงจะหลบไหม !? – Are you going to block the path!?
Douchebag: มึงหลบเลยนะ ทั้งอีตุ๊ด – You are blocking the path completely you faggot!
Douchebag: ทั้งไอ้หนวด! – Completely you fucking mustache guy!
Douchebag: ทั้งอีแก่เนี่ย !! – Completely you old hag!!

Douchebag: อุ๊ยๆ โอ๊ยๆๆๆ – ouch ouch ouch
Grandma: มึงเรียกกูอีแก่ได้ไง – How can you call me an old bag?
Grandma: กูนะรุ่นยายมึงแล้ว – I am of the older generation than you.
Grandma: กูใจเย็น นับ 1 เกือบถึง 1000 มึงยังไม่ยอมหยุด – I am calm.  Count 1 to almost 1000. You still do not accept to stop.
Douchebag: โอ๊ย!! – Ouch!!
Douchebag: ใครๆ เขาก็รีบ – Anybody, They also hurry.
Grandma: กูก็รีบ แต่กูเดินเร็วได้เท่านี้! – I am also in a hurry but i can only walk as fast as this.
Grandma: ถ้ามึงบีบแตรใส่กู – If you honk at me,
Grandma: แล้วกูหัวใจวาย ตายไป Then I will have a heart attack and die.
Grandma: มึงมีปัญญาพากูไปโรงพยาบาลไหม: – Will you take me to the hospital
Pinkguy: หูยย ตัวยายของจริง – Wow!  Grandma is a boss ass bitch!
Grandma: มึงรู้ว่าผิด มึงก็แค่ขอโทษ – You know it’s wrong you are just sorry you got caught.
Grandma: ไม่ใช่ เสือกอันธพาลมาเถียงกูกลับ – No?  You want to mess with being a gangster? Answer me.
Grandma: นะ..มึงจะขอโทษไหม!? – Are you going to be sorry?
Grandma: หรือจะให้กูพาไปส่งตำรวจ – Or are you going to let me take you to the police
Douchebag: ใจ…ใจเย็นยาย ขอโทษจ้ะยาย ขอโทษจ้า – Ca…calm down Grandma.  I’m sorry Grandma.  I’m sorry.
Grandma: ไม่ใช่ขอโทษกู ขอโทษสองคนนี่ – Don’t be sorry to me.  Say sorry to these two people.
Douchebag: อ๋อ.. ได้จ๊ะยาย – Oh.. I can Grandma.
Douchebag: ขอโทษครับ ขอโทษครับ – I’m sorry.  I’m sorry.
Pologuy: กฎจราจรอะ หัดทำตามบ้างนะครับ – The traffic regulations, practice to follow the example of other people.
Pologuy: มักง่ายกันอย่างนี้ แล้วจะอยู่กันอย่างไร!? If careless like this, Then how can we live with each other?
Douchebag: ขอโทษครับ ขอโทษครับ – I’m sorry.  I’m sorry.
Grandma: เรื่องง่ายๆ อย่างนี้ยังไม่ใส่ใจ – Easy issue.  Like this is still not mindful.
Grandma: ที่ลังมึงอย่าทำอีกนะ จำเอาไว้ – Don’t you do this again.  Remember it!
Douchebag: โอ๊ย ขอโทษครับ – Ouch.  I’m sorry!
Grandma: ไป! – Go!  Get out of here before I bust a cap in your ass!
Grandma: นู่น ถนน – There.  The street!
Douchebag: อ๋อ ทางนู้นเหรอยาย – Oh.  The way over there.

 

The King

By now, the whole world should know, the king of Thailand Bhumibol Adulyadej (Thai:ภูมิพลอดุลยเดช) died on October 13, 2016.  He was the 9th king of Thailand beginning his reign on June 9, 1946.  At the time of his death, he was the longest serving head of state in the world and the longest reigning monarch in Thai history, serving for 70 years and 126 days.  For nearly every Thai person, he was the only king they knew.

The king of Thailand was highly revered.  People considered him a family member, and often he would be referred to as “father”.  He had reached a nearly divine status.  For the first week after his death the entire country was extremely somber.  A 1 year mourning period was declared and overnight wearing black became the new fashion trend.

Thailand has had a turbulent history.  Frequent military coups and 30 prime ministers since the king took the throne.  Like any leader some of the king’s decisions and actions were controversial.  But he did a lot of good for the country.  He helped a lot of people.  He was the one constant in Thailand over all the changes of leadership.  He held the country together and prevented the coups from developing into civil war.  He was an honorable person.  He was a humble person.  He loved Thailand and he loved all Thai people.  He understood his great responsibility and served with pride, dignity, and grace.  For these reasons, he was universally loved by all Thai people.

It is my hope that one day America can have a leader like this.

Hold Me Tight by Job 2 Do

The rain has been making me lazy. Here’s another translation of a Job 2 Do song.

กอดฉันไว้ โดย จ๊อบบรรจบ

Hold Me Tight by Job 2 Do

ลืมไปได้เลย It’s been forgotten
เรื่องที่เคยผ่านมาให้แล้วไป It’s in the past
รู้เธอไม่ตั้งใจ I know you did not intend
ให้มันพลั้งพลาดไปอย่างวันนั้น To make a mistake that day
ฉันไม่เคยแคร์ I never cared
และแม้ว่าใครจะคิดอะไรไม่สำคัญ Even if someone thinks it’s not important
ขอเพียงเธออย่าไหวหวั่น I just ask you to not worry
เรายังเริ่มกันได้ใหม่ We can still start over
สบตากับฉัน เชื่อในฉัน See me eye-to-eye Believe in me
เรื่องของวันวานไม่ต้องมาใส่ใจ We don’t have to worry about the past
ที่เคยเปียกฝนเดี๋ยวก็คงแห้งไป Whenever wet from the rain, should dry off soon
แค่กอดฉันไว้ Just hold me close
เขามองไม่เห็นค่า Unable to appreciate
อย่าไปสนปล่อยเขาช่างเขาไป Let him go
เสียแล้วก็เสียไป It’s already lost
ไม่ต้องคิดสิ่งใดให้หนักหนา Don’t have to give it serious thought
เพราะเรื่องวันวาน Because it’s in the past
จะทำอย่างไรก็ไม่มีทางเรียกคืนมา What would I do, there was no way to recall
คิดถึงวันพรุ่งนี้ดีกว่า I would rather look to the future
วันเวลาที่โลกเป็นของเรา Someday the world will be ours
สบตากับฉัน เชื่อในฉัน See me eye-to-eye Believe in me
เรื่องของวันวานไม่ต้องมาใส่ใจ We don’t have to worry about the past
ที่เคยเปียกฝนเดี๋ยวก็คงแห้งไป Whenever wet from the rain, should dry off soon
แค่กอดฉันไว้ Just hold me close
วันนี้ฉันรักเธอ Today I love you
สบตากับฉัน เชื่อในฉัน See me eye-to-eye Believe in me
เรื่องของวันวานไม่ต้องมาใส่ใจ We don’t have to worry about the past
ที่เคยเปียกฝนเดี๋ยวก็คงแห้งไป Whenever wet from the rain, should dry off soon
แค่กอดฉันไว้ Just hold me close
วันนี้ฉันรักเธอ Today I love you

Hug Me by Job 2 Do

I looked everywhere for the lyrics to this song and could not find them.  So with the help from a couple Thai friends I wrote them down myself.  The translation is all me so I’m sure there are some mistakes but I think it is close.

กอดฉัน โดย จ๊อบบรรจบ

Hug Me by Job 2 Do

อยากให้เธอจงจำไว้ I’d like her to remember
วันที่เธอไม่มีใคร เข้าใจ The days when she did not have anybody to understand
คืนและจันมันเงียบเหงา Night and day it is quiet and lonely
มีแต่เรากับความฝันเรื่อยไป There is only us and continuous dreams
เท่าชีวิตมีพลาดพลั้ง As in life, mistakes are made
เก็บพลังไว้ต่อสู้ฟันฝ่า Save strength and overcome struggles
จะมีใครอีกเล่าหนา Will there ever be anybody again?
เข้าใจเราเท่าตัวเราเอง Understand us, even ourselves
จงโอบกอดฉันไว้ Please hug me tight
ยามที่เธอ ไม่เหลือใคร When she did not have anybody remaining
จงโอบกอดฉันไว้ Please hug me tight
ลืมมันไปเรื่องเลวร้ายที่ผ่านมา Forget the evils from the past
มองเมฆฝนอยู่บนฟ้า See the rain clouds in the sky
อีกไม่นานฟ้าคงสุดใส Soon the sky will clear
อยากให้เธอจงจำไว้ I’d like her to remember
ว่ายังมีฉันอยู่ ก้บเธอตลอดไป That I am still with her for all time
จงโอบกอดฉันไว้ Please hug me tight
ยามที่เธอ ไม่เหลือใคร When she did not have anybody remaining
จงโอบกอดฉันไว้ Please hug me tight
ลืมมันไปเรื่องเลวร้ายที่ผ่านมา Forget the evils from the past
จงโอบกอดฉันไว้ Please hug me tight
ยามที่เธอ ไม่เหลือใคร When she did not have anybody remaining
จงโอบกอดฉันไว้ Please hug me tight
ลืมมันไปเรื่องเลวร้ายที่ผ่านมา Forget the evils from the past
มองเมฆฝนอยู่บนฟ้า See the rain clouds in the sky
อีกไม่นานฟ้าคงสุดใส Soon the sky will clear
อยากให้เธอจงจำไว้ I’d like her to remember
ว่ายังมีฉันอยู่ ก้บเธอตลอดไป That I am still with her for all time
จงโอบกอดฉันไว้ Please hug me tight
ยามที่เธอ ไม่เหลือใคร When she did not have anybody remaining
จงโอบกอดฉันไว้ Please hug me tight
ลืมมันไปเรื่องเลวร้ายที่ผ่านมา Forget the evils from the past
จงโอบกอดฉันไว้ Please hug me tight
ยามที่เธอ ไม่เหลือใคร When she did not have anybody remaining
จงโอบกอดฉันไว้ Please hug me tight
ลืมมันไปเรื่องเลวร้ายที่ผ่านมา Forget the evils from the past

Chiang Mai – Part 2

One night we decided to have a traditional northern cuisine dinner along with a show of traditional Thai dances.

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The food.

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There were many different dances and lots of good costumes.

The next day was Loy Krathong.  We visited a few more temples.  I’ll spare the pictures since they start to look all the same.  In the evening we walked around the city and participated in the festivities.

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A couple weeks ago we met Christine when climbing at Tonsai.  Turns out she was going to be in Chiang Mai around the same time as us.  She was with a bunch of other friends and invited us to Thanksgiving dinner.  There was no turkey (we had some chicken) but we got to have some other traditional thanksgiving dishes.  We also made plans to go climbing a day or two later.

Anong wasn’t feeling too well so she stayed in the city but I met Christine and Kat at CMRCA in the morning for a day of climbing.  We decided to climb at Reunion Buttress.  It has a few fun moderate climbs and a really good three pitch climb that we were able to do as 2 pitches thanks to my 70m rope.  First we warmed up on Teamwork 5c which was relatively straightforward.  Then we climbed Smells Like Team Spirit 6a which had a cruxy middle section and a really good finish.  Then we did did the Reunion 6a, 5a, 6a+ which was fun, a little scary on the last pitch, and had some really good views.  By this time, Kat had to catch her ride back to town but Christine was riding with me so we had time for one more.  We finished up with Reminisce 6a.  By now it was starting to get dark  so it was time to head back.  Pro tip, best to leave the crag around 4:30 or 5:00 even though it stays light till 6:00 or 6:30.  Once the sun starts to go down all the bugs come out.  My helmet didn’t have a face shield so dealing with all the bugs was annoying.  Other than that, it was a great day climbing!

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Kat going up Teamwork.

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Me getting started on Smells Like Team Spirit.

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Christine on Smells Like Team Spirit.

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Kat on Smells Like Team Spirit.

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View from the top of Reunion.

The next day we went back with plans to meet some friends of a friend who were also in Chiang Mai the same time as Anong and I.  We climbed at The Rooftop which doesn’t actually have any roofs but gets up up really high at Crazy Horse and the views are really good.  Warmed up on A Route With a View 5c+, then did Heun Fah 5b, and finally the best route at the crag, Skyscraper 6a.  It’s a rather long route at 29 meters with lots of fun moves.  We ate lunch then headed over to Tamarind Village and climbed The Chimney Sweep 6a which took me a couple of tries to get.  I guess I need to work on my chimney climbing technique.  Then The Queen Bee 5c, 4500 5a, and finally finished up the day on Happy Birthday 6b which I climbed clean first go but on top rope and was a good finish to the day / climbing at Crazy Horse.

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Anong belaying me as I head up Skyscraper.

Back in the city we had Khao Ka Moo from the cowboy hat lady.  It was really good.

Dinner.

Dinner.

Laos Visa Run

Well, it’s been a year already.  But I don’t feel ready to come home.  So I decided to enroll for one more year of Thai language lessons which means a visa run to Laos.  I guess I need to rename this blog.  Sorry to family and friends that miss me.  I’m going to be gone one more year and will definitely be coming home after the year is up.

On December 10th, we woke up early to catch a flight to Udon Thani.  Then from there needed to figure out how to get to Nong Bua Lamphu.  We decided to stay a few days in Nong Bua Lamphu to visit Anong’s family.  We figure out we need to go to “Udon Thani Bus Station #2” which is 4km away.  The taxi station at the airport says it will be 200 Baht.  This seemed very expensive and they were not willing to negotiate so I told them for that price I’d rather walk.  I didn’t really want to walk but I’m also not willing to be overcharged just because I’m an obvious foreigner.  Luckily we find a tuk tuk driver who said he would take us for 100 Baht.  Deal!  5 minutes later we were at the bus station and as luck would have it the bus we needed was leaving in just a few minutes.  So we are on our way to Nong Bua Lamphu!  Later on I’m comparing prices of the Udon Thani airport taxi to other places.  Most taxi’s are charging 20 to 25 Baht per km.  This taxi wanted 50 Baht per km.  No thanks!

In Nong Bua Lamphu we didn’t do much.  Just relaxed a couple days then got on another bus back to Udon Thani then a mini bus to Nongkai / Thai / Laos Friendship Bridge.

Going through the border was pretty much as I remember it. First go through Thai immigration and use your departure card to exit Thailand. Then take a bus across the bridge (20 Baht) to enter Laos and go through Laos immigration. The Laos immigration border is very confusing to me but after going through it 2 times now I think I have it figured out. There is one line that Thai (maybe other) citizens go through. They pay 100 Baht to get an entry/exit card then go through immigration and get their passport stamped. American (and most likely other) citizens go through a different process. Go to window #2 and get the visa on arrival form. Then go to window #1 and give them your form, passport and pay $36 dollars. Then go to window #3 to collect your passport with new visa and any change. Sometimes I do really stupid things. I have no idea why but I skipped window #2 and gave window #1 my Thai education visa application form the school prepared for me for the Thai embassy consular office. Nobody said hey moron you gave us the wrong form, go to window #2 and get the right form. They just accepted it and gave me my visa so I had no idea at the time I gave them the wrong form. Anyways, now that I have my visa, I get to skip the other immigration lines and also don’t need to buy the exit card. Just show whichever “official” looking person your visa with stamp and they will let you through.

Now into Laos we need to figure out how to get to the hotel. It’s about 20km to the hotel we’re staying at so walking isn’t really an option. I’m always skeptical of people coming up to me offering rides. First they said 60 kip to the hotel we were staying at. I was very confused because 60 kip is basically free. Less than 1 cent. After clarifying they meant 60,000 kip which is about 250 Baht. Seemed reasonable so I went with it. After 30 or 40 minutes we arrived at the hotel. Something slightly humorous on the ride to the hotel happened. Turns our our taxi was actually a song thao so we picked up another person who happened to be a kind of cute Lao girl, probably in her 20’s. Halfway through the trip she spoke something in Lao. I just ignored it because I thought she was talking to Anong sitting across from me. Lao and Isaan languages are very similar so Anong can easily and often does talk with Lao people.  Lao people also understand a lot of Thai.  The grammar is pretty much the same but vocabulary is often different.  There is some common vocabulary and Laos people are exposed to a lot of Thai media which is one reason they understand Thai.  But Thai people understand little to none of the Lao language.  So this girl says “อ้ายอ้ายไปไส” which sounded like gibberish to me since I wasn’t expecting anyone to speak to me let alone in the Laos language.  I ignored her because I didn’t understand what she said and didn’t think she was talking to me.  Anong ignored her because it was obvious to Anong that she was talking to me.  I later learned a rough translation of what she said was “Hey dude, where are you going?”  I guess she thought I was cute too.

 

I wasn’t too impressed with Vientiane the first time I came here, partly because the first time I came here I choose a hotel close to the embassy (about a 5 minute walk). There really isn’t anything to do in that area. This time I chose a much nicer hotel which is closer to lots of restaurants, cafe’s, shops, temples, etc… But it’s about a 45 minute walk. Vientiane is slowly growing on me. The place is an interesting juxtaposition of Lao, Buddhist, Communist, and French influence. International cuisine is pretty good here and of course there is a lot of Lao / Thai food to be found.

The embassy / consular office was closed all last week due to a holiday or something. So Monday morning was a complete shit show. Anong and I got there just after 8:30am when they open and there were already hundreds of people there. I’m guessing 333 people to be exact since the number given to me for next day pickup was 334. It wasn’t like last time where you stand in line to get a number then can sit down, relax, wander around while waiting for your group of numbers to be called up with window 1 or 2 to submit your application. It was just one giant line that snaked around the chairs in the waiting area, back to the entrance, around the yard, and out the entrance. At one point one of the guards decided the gate needed to be opened, I think for a car or motorbike coming in or out. I forget. Anyways, he just opened the gate and rolled it right into some people around me waiting next to it without any warning at all. Luckily I avoided it but a couple people got their shins / feet bashed. WTF? Seems at least once a week I see something new that makes me shake my head and leaves me dumbfounded about the behavior of Thai people. Not even any warning this guy just decides to roll the gate right into people waiting in line. How is that acceptable behavior in any culture?

Except for that it was pretty boring. Was next to a guy from Australia who spoke pretty good Thai. He was teaching me some Thai slang / vocabulary. Most of which I’ve already forgotten but did write down a couple things. Shortly after the gate incident and chatting with the Australian guy, I realized my mistake at the Lao border and that I did not have the visa application form. After a short panic Anong got a new form for me. Luckily I had one extra passport / visa photo. But the form requires two pictures. So I found a picture on another document I didn’t need to submit and cannibalized that. It was a little smaller than the first picture so I spent the next two hours standing in line wondering if my pictures would be accepted. There was a place photos can be made but I didn’t want to take new pictures and lose my place in line. By the time I finally got to the application window I submitted my application and forms. The guy behind the counter didn’t say anything and said ok, come back tomorrow so I guess they’re good. I’ll find out soon since I’m on my way to pick up my passport that hopefully has a new visa in it. Total time in line, nearly 4 hours!

Advice for visa application. Don’t go on a Monday after long holiday or you will spend a lot of time waiting in line. Even after I was done the line still went all the way back to the gate.

The next day I go back to pick up my visa.  Another long confusing line.  But after awhile I figure out we don’t need to stand in line and they’re calling numbers up.  So I sit down on the grass and wait.  About 3 hours later I have a shiny new visa.  Later on I learned over 1000 people applied for visas that day.  Definitely do not go on a Monday after long holiday.

The next day we’re off to Bangkok for a week.  Saw some friends, climbed on fake rocks, and ate some good food.

 

 

Chiang Mai

A few weeks ago, Anong and I decided somewhat spontaneously to go to Chiang Mai for Loy Krathong.  Since Chiang Mai also has some very good climbing at Crazy Horse Buttress, we also packed the climbing gear and got ready for a week of climbing and Thai culture.    On November 20th, we hopped on the airplane and were off!

Day #1 First order of business was to get checked into our room.  A ฿160 taxi ride from the airport took us to the Yindee Stylish Guesthouse.  The rooms were clean with air conditioning and hot water and reasonably priced at around ฿1000 per night.  There are of course much cheaper rooms in Chiang Mai, as little as 100 to 200 Baht per night but in my old age, I require just a little bit of luxury these days.

Second order of business was to find the CMRCA climbing shop to get some beta for Crazy Horse.  We found it without not much trouble and picked up a guidebook for the area and got some new climbing shoes for Anong since her old ones will likely be worn out in a few months.

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Anong testing out her new shoes.

The CMRCA shop is pretty  cool.  In addition to having lots of gear that can be rented or purchased, they also have a pretty good bouldering wall / training room.  If you’re a climber and in Chiang Mai, definitely check it out.

Third order of business, eat dinner!  Northern Thailand is known for its unique cuisine.  One of the most famous dishes in Chiang Mai is Khao Soi (Thai: ข้าวซอย).  It’s a coconut based curry noodle dish containing egg noodles, chicken (or pork), some vegetables, and topped with crispy fried noodles.  It’s delicious and one of my favorite Thai foods.

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First Khao Soi of many in Chiang Mai.  This one was very good.

 

Day #2, first thing we did was find a shop to rent a motorbike.  Motorbike rental shops are all over Chiang Mai so they are not hard to find.  Chiang Mai isn’t as well known for its motorbike scams as Koh Tao but it still happens so I did a little research before hand to find some reputable shops.  Thai Moto Rent seems to be the most highly regarded shop but unfortunately they had none available.  Another shop named Mr. Mechanic also seemed pretty good and as a bonus they were close to my room.  So I rented a bike from them and we headed off to explore the city.  BTW, other than an empty tank when we received the bike there were no issues with the bike or the shop trying to scam me when returning the bike.  So except for the British helmet, Mr. Mechanic gets a thumbs up from me.

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Unfortunately, this British flag helmet was the only one that fit. 😦

Exploring a new city means visiting the numerous temples in the area.  Here’s a few pictures from Wat Phra That Doikham:

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And a few pictures from Wat Phra That Doisuthep which I didn’t really like since they charge a fee for foreigners to enter.

 

Day #3 is what I was stoked for.  Climbing at Crazy Horse!

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Since this was my first day at a new climbing spot, we just took it easy.  My goal was to get familiar with the area and climb lots of easy routes.  The first wall from the trail is Crazy Horse Area and it has a few easy routes on it.  So we set up shop there and climbed:

  • Ding Dong 5b
  • The Muppet Show 5b

We met an Italian guy who was just learning to climb and was there with a friend.  They didn’t have enough quickdraws so asked to climb with us a bit.  We were planning to move on to another area but I headed back up The Muppet Show one more time so he could try it on top rope.  Considering that he was climbing in sneakers he climbed it well for a beginning climber.

After he was done, I climbed again to clean the route.  Since I haven’t taught Anong how to clean a route yet, that means I’ve climbed 6 pitches by now.  Once to lead, and once to clean.

Next we decided to go to the Anxiety State Crisis Cave.  The best routes here are above my ability but there are some easier ones.  Beautiful Mess 6a was fun and except for a cruxy section in the middle of the route was pretty easy.  I also put up The Underworld 5c which was also nice but not quite as good as the first route.  By now it was starting to get dark.  After a bit of a panic over lost keys (thankfully found) from our new Italian friends we were on our way home.

Day #4 it was back to Crazy Horse.  This time we climbed at Heart Wall which is pretty new and has lots of good routes.  The goal for today was still to take it easy and have fun but push myself just a little more.  We warmed up on Peuan Jai Rai 5a then moved over to Kuu Jai 5c.  Now time for something a little harder.  Dtok Jai 6a+ relatively easy climbing but then comes a small roof.  Getting up and over this is the crux which I think is a bit harder than graded.  I fell here and it took a couple tries to figure it out.  I was certainly startled when I came to this.  Once past the crux it’s easy climbing to the anchor.  Next up was Duang Jai 6a+ It looked like a fun route with a traversy chimney like section.  I was having fun, trying not to let the exposure get to me and everything was going well until I came to a section of rock covered by what must have been millions of some kind of small beetle that looked like a lady bug.  Even though by now I was only a few bolts from the anchor, seeing no clear path through these insects, I decided to bail off the route.  So I took apart one of my quickdraws and lowered off a carabiner.

On the way down I came to the anchor for Hua Jai Wai 6c+ so I set that up to try on top rope.  It starts off very steep with powerful, overhanging moves on nice big holds.  But then the rock turns vertical and the holds get much smaller and sharper.  Needless to say it took me a few tries to get to the top but it was fun to try something hard.

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From the ground, I thought the black stuff on the rock was some kind of lichen.  But no, it’s millions of tiny black lady bug-like beetles.

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View from the top of a climb.

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The 6c+ and another view of the insects.

 

Day #5 was a climbing rest day.  We spent most of the day at the Chiang Mai zoo.  Speaking Thai, was able to get the Thai price for tickets.  Screw you dual pricing Thailand!  Here’s some pictures from the zoo:

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Ticket prices.  Adults 150 Baht or 100 Baht if you can read Thai.

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Got the 100 Baht ticket!

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Had to buy another ticket to see the panda bears.  100 Baht or 50 Baht if you can read Thai.

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That’s it for now.  The rest of the pictures are on my camera in Krabi and I’m in Isaan visiting Anong’s family and getting ready to go to Laos to apply for a new visa.  So stay tuned for part 2 in a couple weeks when I’m back in Krabi.

 

 

 

Krabi Vegetarian Festival Parade

The vegetarian festival in Thailand is called “Tet-sa-gan Gin Je” (Thai: เทศกาลกินเจ).  It is the celebration of the Nine Emperor Gods Festival.  Je (Thai: เจ) is the word for vegetarian.  But it really means vegan with additional restrictions.  Like vegans, dairy is not allowed.  Also not allowed are garlic, onions, alcohol, and sex.  A few days ago there was a parade in Krabi Town.  Parades in Thailand are pretty much like parades in America.

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There are spectators anxiously awaiting the start of the parade.  

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There are participants marching down the parade route carrying banners for the organization they represent. In this case, one of the 80+ Chinese temples in Krabi.

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There are people taking pictures.

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There are floats. Though they are not as elaborate as in America. These are just some small statues on top of the cab of a pickup truck.

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There are elaborate costumes.

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There are cute kids having a fun time.

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There is the blood…

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And the tongue slashing.

Wait.  What!?  I’m pretty sure we don’t have this in America.  Now that I think of it, parades in Thailand are nothing at all like parades in America.

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It was very crowded. Difficult to tell participants from spectators. Spectators would creep in closer and closer. Many people walking through the parade. Then everyone would get pushed back when a float / pickup truck needed to go by, only to creep back in a moment later.

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Then there are the piercings. Some are very gruesome as you will see later.

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It’s not just the women that pierce their cheeks.

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All sorts of objects are used for piercing.

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Unfortunately I didn’t get a very good picture but look closely. This guy has two weed wackers! One in each cheek.

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Every now and then the parade would stop and the tongue slashers would put on a little show.

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Even the little kids get in on the piercing action.

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This guy appears to have pierced his cheek with a broken wheel from a motorbike.

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Most of the people appeared to be in some kind of a trance-like state.

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Plenty of blood.

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A little hard to see but they guy squatting down is dancing directly over firecrackers.

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Show from another group of tongue slashers.

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Bloody!

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Hoses!

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Knives! And Thread?

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He was flinging blood everywhere.

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Saw guy again. Really getting into it.

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Seems rather tame now.

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More costumes.

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And an ambulance in case anyone gets hurt.

Well, it was interesting.  I’ve been observing the festival with my girlfriend for 8 days now.  It started on the 12th and goes to the 21st.  Two more days and I can eat a hamburger and drink some beer.

Bangkok

A friend of mine from work was coming to Bangkok so Anong and I booked some airplane tickets to visit her (thanks for the hospitality Jackie!).  During the day Anong and I explored Bangkok, visited temples, and sampled the many options for food in the city.  In the evenings we met up with Jackie and her friends for dinner and drinks.

On the 17th, we arrived in the afternoon.  Getting from the airport to the city isn’t too difficult but it does take some time…  We flew into Don Mueang Airport which means we had to take the A1 bus to the Mo Chit Bus Station which connects to the BTS (Sky Train).  Once in the sky train station it was pretty easy to figure out how to get to Jackie’s place.  I think it took about 2.5 hours to get there though.  Once we got off the BTS is was a 20 minute or so walk.  It didn’t take us long to find some street food.

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If I go to Bangkok again I think I will try flying into Suvarnabhumi Airport which I think connects to the subway and BTS which would save lots of time by avoiding the bus ride.  A little later in the evening we all went out for dinner at a Thai restaurant then met some other friends for drinks at a place called Small’s Bar.   They had a pretty cool rooftop seating area.

The next day was a gruelling tour of all the wats (temples) in Bangkok.  Well, not all of them but we went to 7 or 8 wats and a couple other shrines so it felt like we went to all of them.  But first Anong and I went to a yoga studio for a nice morning workout.  It was interesting trying a new yoga studio with different teachers and a different style of yoga.  Anyone in Bangkok should check out Roots8Yoga.

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Now for the wats!  I think the first place we went to was called Chao Pho Suea Joss House.  I can’t recommend going there.  Once we got close to the entrance a few ladies selling incense, candles, and other things start quickly talking to us and showing a price list of various things.  Anong is discussing various things with them.  This is all happening in Thai so I’m not really sure what is being discussed.  I don’t have a good feeling about this but I thought I’d just let Anong do her thing since it’s important to her  and it seems they agreed on an offering tray with a few things on it for around ฿200 which didn’t seem too bad.  So we go in side, light the prescribed number of incense sticks at each spot, burn some candles and do our thing.  Meanwhile some dude is talking over a loudspeaker and some lady is following us around seemingly explaining various things to Anong but this is all unusual to me so I ask why is this lady following us around.  Not getting a clear answer I just go with the flow.  About 10 minutes later we walk out and back to the stand that sold us the tray of things and they tell us it’s ฿790!  What!?  Being in a little bit of shock I just pay it unsure of what service they provided for 10 minutes that was worth ฿790.  After explaining to Anong that I don’t like being taken advantage of and that we can not spend ฿790 at every wat we go to we were on our way.

For any visitors to Thailand, here’s the standard operating procedure when visiting temples.

  1. You can bring your own incense and candles.  But if you use the incense and candles at the temple, they usually suggest a donation of ฿5 to ฿20.
  2. More popular temples will have vendors selling flowers outside.  Flowers will cost between ฿25 to ฿100 but none of this money goes to the temple so skip it.
  3. When going inside the temple, take off your shoes.
  4. When inside, light incense, say prayers, burn candles, take pictures.  Pictures are almost always ok.  Just be quiet and reverent.
  5. There are usually 1 or 2 monks inside the temple.  It’s ok to talk to the monk and you can get a blessing from the monk.  It’s not required but a ฿20 donation is appropriate.
  6. There will be other donation boxes inside the temple.  Donate any amount you feel is appropriate.

The next stop is Wat Phra Kaew.  It’s inside the Grand Palace and is one of the most popular tourist spots in the city.  Outside they have a recording that plays every minute or two to remind people the palace is open every day and to be suspicious of anyone approaching you.  Apparently a big scam is to tell tourists the palace is closed today then take them on a tour of gem and tailor shops with high pressure salesmen.  It’s nice to see something being down to cut down on the tourist scams.  The price to go inside was ฿500 for tourists!  Thais are free.  Thanks Thailand for yet another reminder that although you are happy to take my money, I am not really welcome here and do not belong.  Still feeling sick from the last experience it was an easy decision to wait outside while Anong went in.  It was so crowded that Anong wasn’t able to take any pictures so I feel like I didn’t miss anything.  Here’s a couple pictures I got while I waited.

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Before Wat Phra Kaew we saw this:

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Mother Earth Squeezing Her Hair. A shrine to Queen Patcharindra who set up access to clean water for the people.

And this:

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Next was Wat Pho.  ฿200 to get in (free for Thais).  No thanks.  Here’s a picture of the ceiling over the bench I sat on while waiting outside.

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After Wat Pho we went to Wat Arun.  Wat Arun had lots of interesting things to look at.  Most of which can be seen without paying a fee.  There is one section that does have a fee but it’s a more reasonable ฿40 so I ended up paying that and got a few more pictures.

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IMG_0858After Wat Arun we bought some boat tickets and rode up and down the Chao Phraya River (Thai: แม่น้ำเจ้าพระยา) and saw a few more temples.  Note the “Ch” is pronounced with a ‘J’ sound.  At this point all the temples started looking the same so here’s a few more pictures:

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Done with the temples!  Here’s another street food picture.  They are making Kanom Krok.  My favorite Thai snack / dessert:

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On the 19th, I went to yoga in the morning.  After yoga we relaxed then headed out on the BTS to explore Bangkok a little bit.  We did a little shopping at MBK but didn’t buy much.  Walked around, and ate some food.

On the 20th, we went to see the Erawan Shrine.  It’s a statue with four faces.

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Then we went to China Town.

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Durian Gan Yao!

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Of course we went to more wats!

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Painting on a ceramic pot.

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This is a solid gold statue of Buddha. This picture cost me ฿40

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The temples in China Town reminded me of Hong Kong.

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The durian was delicious.

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Then we ate pizza at Via Vai.  A guy we were with is friends with the owner so we got this extra fancy pizza.  We drank red wine and ate some more normal pizzas.  Best pizza I’ve had in Thailand so far.

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 And on our last day, we just went to the airport.  Back on the BTS to Mo Chit.  Then take the A1 to the airport.  It was a bit of an adventure finding the bus station and the bus.  I learned that Thai people are happy to give you directions even when they don’t know the location of where you are trying to go.  The bus stop didn’t list the A1 bus so I was pretty sure it wasn’t going to come here.  Anong asked someone and they said walk up to the next spot about 100 feet away.  Still no indication that the A1 bus would come here and nobody can explain to me why it comes here when it’s not listed as stopping here.  Eventually a #29 bus comes.  I’m not sure how but Anong quickly figured out it also goes to the airport and we confirmed it with the bus driver.  So we get on the bus and about a half mile up the road pass another bus stop with clearly marked sign for the A1 bus.  Eventually we made it to the airport and got to the gate 20 minutes before boarding.

Bangkok was a fun city.  I’d like to go back to sample more of the street food and see some of the other areas.  I was really amazed at how much food is in the city.  There are many restaurants but the sidewalks are packed with food vendors at all times of the day.  I was also pleasantly surprised with the taxis.  I’d heard horror stories about taxis not using the meters, over charging, and refusing to take you to where you wanted to go but the couple times we took a taxi we did not have any of those problems.

Isan

Isan (Thai: อีสาน) is a general name given to the northeastern region of Thailand.  Anong and I spent 9 days in Nong Bua Lam Phu (Thai:หนองบัวลำภู) province for the Songkran festival, plus a couple days for travel.  Isan is bordered to the north and east by Laos and Cambodia.  Ethnically and culturally the people are Lao though Thaification has reduced the influence of the Lao culture (the people still drive like idiots here though not as bad as in the south).  The dominant language in Isan is also called the Isan language.  Luckily for me it is very similar to the Thai language and the people of Isan are generally bi-lingual in Isan and Thai so I was able to have very basic conversations with Anong’s family who does not speak english.  Conversations mostly consisted of me saying “Wannee aga rawn mak mak” (Today the weather is very hot), “Phom mai kao jai” (I do not understand), and “Kap khun krap” (Thank you).  It was nice to meet them and they seem like nice people.

The food is also different in Isan but I didn’t really notice because Isan food has permeated the rest of Thailand and central Thai cuisine has also made its way to Isan.  One big difference though is meals in Isan are usually served with sticky rice instead of long grain white rice.  I was impressed by the Isan persons ability to consume sticky rice.

Isan is the poorest region in Thailand  though economically it is also the fastest growing.  Agriculture is the dominant sector of the economy in the region.  Most people grow rice or sugarcane.  The countryside is very beautiful and the pace of life there is slower than in Bangkok and southern Thailand.

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Typical view in Isan.

There are also many temples in Isan.  Look at my previous post for some pictures.  Here are a couple more of Wat Tam Erawan (Thai: วัดถ้ำเอราวัณ).

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All the best temples in Thailand require walking up many stairs. In this case about 600 steps.

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View from the top.

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Big Buddha at the top.

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Bang the gong 3 times.

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Enter the cave and walk through to the other side.

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Coming back from the other side. The rocks in the cave were amazing. I really wanted to climb them but that would be frowned upon.

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View of previous staircase.

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The roof of the cave has a hole in it that I thought looked like a certain part of the female anatomy.

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Near the front entrance. Lots of rocks stacked on top of each other. My camera made everything look lighter than it really was.

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Entrance at the bottom of the stairs.

The only thing I didn’t like about Isan is the lack of sport climbing.  Next spot for me to visit will be Chiang Mai which is known for it’s unique Thai culture and also has very good sport climbing.  Not sure when that will be though.